[It's almost a gut reaction to respond quickly with "we're not dating--" but Caitlyn holds her tongue and lets Jinx finish. It's not worth her breath to argue that point, especially given everything else Jinx says. They both know better. Even if Caitlyn and Vi still won't put names to what they are, they're something, and Caitlyn loves her deeply.
But besides all that, the fact that Jinx was actually, genuinely asking for her help?
Did hell freeze over?
She's silent longer than she means to be, just because this is a lot to process, but she finally finds her voice.]
That is what Enforcers are supposed to do, you're right. And I'm sorry they've failed you before. I'm sorry I was blind to the shitty people around me at the time. [That's getting off topic, but a point she still wants to make with Jinx.]
Have you tried just telling him that? That you're sorry? [Caitlyn literally already told Jinx to talk to him. They've had this conversation. But talking things out really isn't this family's style, is it?]
I could go talk to him for you, but I'm not sure he'd see me. Not after everything. [She has her memories back for real now. She remembered all the good, the bad, and the very messy. He might would see her, when she still thought good of him, but now that she knows the truth, she's not sure about approaching him like that.]
[ she opens her mouth and then shuts it again, darting her gaze away so they can't make eye contact. ]
I... No. I... I haven't actually spoken to him yet.
[ feeling embarrassed by her own response, jinx scowls and her attitude shines front and center again. ]
What, you expect me to just barge back home and say, "Hey Pops! Sorry for saying you don't love me, and accuse you and Vi of waving me around like some prized doll or something to each other's faces...! Anyway, what's for dinner?"
[ and in a very jinx fashion, she flails her arms around to animate her point. but she returns to her sulking nature and throws herself onto the table to lie on — her legs dangling.]
He probably won't. I just need something better than that. He deserves a really good apology. Not some... whacky, crappy one. It has to be special and perfect. And I'm... not that great with words. And you're Miss Fancy Pants Punctual.
[Was Jinx actually embarrassed? Wow. Caitlyn could easily milk this, but that would just turn Jinx on her all over again, and it's actually nice to have a mostly civil conversation. She doesn't want to ruin that.]
Well... yes? Why not? I mean, you don't have to say that exactly, but that's how most apologies work.
[Then again, this is Jinx and Silco. She can't begin to grasp at the complexities of that relationship, but there's one thing that she could never deny, and it was that they truly did love each other, no matter how toxic the relationship was.]
Do you want me to help you figure out what to say?
[Wow. Caitlyn feels....almost honored. It would be better if Jinx could go five seconds without insulting her, but this is honestly the best she's going to get, she knows that much.
The fact that Jinx is asking for her help is honestly more than she's ever expected to get from her before now. They were usually doing good, just to be civil.]
I'm pretty sure he'd be more receptive if you just speak from your heart. But-- I can help you, if that's what you want. [She doesn't mind helping, really, but.... is Jinx really going to be receptive to anything she says? Welp. This was probably going to go horribly, but at least she could say she tried.]
Well, my heart is dead right now. So that's not going to help me. So, let's get going with this. What's the next thing besides saying,"I'm sorry, Silco for the crap I said"?
[ steadily losing her patience, she drops her arms onto her stomach and taps her fingers in a rhythm. ]
That's not a bad start. It's important when apologizing not to deflect the blame. So don't say things like "I'm sorry you made me do this." or "I'm sorry but you did this first". This makes the apology feel insincere, making it seem like the blame is being pushed to the other person.
[She's almost slightly impressed, that Jinx is starting strong? But she's not convinced this is going to continue to go well.]
So, you could continue that with something like "when you and Vi killed each other, it made me feel..." and be honest with him, about how you felt. He won't know how much he hurt you, unless you tell him.
That's very good, actually. Direct, and to the point.
[And to think, at one point in time, she thought Jinx was beyond help or saving. Vi really had been right, those many months ago. She isn't going to be best friends with her, or even necessarily like her, but she has more pity for the girl than she did long ago.]
You could work on the wording, a little. Maybe "it made me feel like you didn't care how it would affect me?"
Fair enough. Keep the wording however you like. [If it was anyone but Jinx and Silco, it would probably matter more but. Whatever. She's not going to argue. It certainly would do no good.]
[ she runs her tongue along her upper front teeth again, mulling over pretty seriously about the woman's question. ]
I dunno. Guess it depends on how he takes what I said first. If he'll give me that stern dad voice or that "Hmm"-I understand-and-now-I'm-going-to-flip-over-my-paper-work-and-keep-writing voice.
If he doesn't take it like that, then what? Do you think he might try to argue? Defend his position?
[Just trying to think outside of the box. As much as she's stalked Silco, she doesn't actually know him that well to predict how he might react to Jinx standing her ground with him. But she knows he loves her, in his twisted way. Surely he would listen when she came to him, upset.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But besides all that, the fact that Jinx was actually, genuinely asking for her help?
Did hell freeze over?
She's silent longer than she means to be, just because this is a lot to process, but she finally finds her voice.]
That is what Enforcers are supposed to do, you're right. And I'm sorry they've failed you before. I'm sorry I was blind to the shitty people around me at the time. [That's getting off topic, but a point she still wants to make with Jinx.]
Have you tried just telling him that? That you're sorry? [Caitlyn literally already told Jinx to talk to him. They've had this conversation. But talking things out really isn't this family's style, is it?]
I could go talk to him for you, but I'm not sure he'd see me. Not after everything. [She has her memories back for real now. She remembered all the good, the bad, and the very messy. He might would see her, when she still thought good of him, but now that she knows the truth, she's not sure about approaching him like that.]
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I... No. I... I haven't actually spoken to him yet.
[ feeling embarrassed by her own response, jinx scowls and her attitude shines front and center again. ]
What, you expect me to just barge back home and say, "Hey Pops! Sorry for saying you don't love me, and accuse you and Vi of waving me around like some prized doll or something to each other's faces...! Anyway, what's for dinner?"
[ and in a very jinx fashion, she flails her arms around to animate her point. but she returns to her sulking nature and throws herself onto the table to lie on — her legs dangling.]
He probably won't. I just need something better than that. He deserves a really good apology. Not some... whacky, crappy one. It has to be special and perfect. And I'm... not that great with words. And you're Miss Fancy Pants Punctual.
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Well... yes? Why not? I mean, you don't have to say that exactly, but that's how most apologies work.
[Then again, this is Jinx and Silco. She can't begin to grasp at the complexities of that relationship, but there's one thing that she could never deny, and it was that they truly did love each other, no matter how toxic the relationship was.]
Do you want me to help you figure out what to say?
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[ she turns her head to take a quick glance at her, and then back at the sky -- again waving her arms around in a silly notion. ]
Use your political snore speechy words to whip up something good. But don't make it too wordy. I hate that. And! — Don't forget: perfect.
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The fact that Jinx is asking for her help is honestly more than she's ever expected to get from her before now. They were usually doing good, just to be civil.]
I'm pretty sure he'd be more receptive if you just speak from your heart. But-- I can help you, if that's what you want. [She doesn't mind helping, really, but.... is Jinx really going to be receptive to anything she says? Welp. This was probably going to go horribly, but at least she could say she tried.]
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[ steadily losing her patience, she drops her arms onto her stomach and taps her fingers in a rhythm. ]
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[She's almost slightly impressed, that Jinx is starting strong? But she's not convinced this is going to continue to go well.]
So, you could continue that with something like "when you and Vi killed each other, it made me feel..." and be honest with him, about how you felt. He won't know how much he hurt you, unless you tell him.
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"When you and Vi killed each other, it made me feel you didn't consider how I would take it"?
[ her eyebrows raise as she turns her head once more to the woman, seeking if what she added on was an improvement or was all wrong.]
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[And to think, at one point in time, she thought Jinx was beyond help or saving. Vi really had been right, those many months ago. She isn't going to be best friends with her, or even necessarily like her, but she has more pity for the girl than she did long ago.]
You could work on the wording, a little. Maybe "it made me feel like you didn't care how it would affect me?"
cw: joking about unaliving herself.........
[ her tone now sinking back to its cynical edge, while rolling her eyes to glance up to their night sky above them. ]
If I change my wording, I'll sound more like a Pilitie and I would rather swallow a bomb and have it implode in me before I ever stoop that low.
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Fair enough. Keep the wording however you like. [If it was anyone but Jinx and Silco, it would probably matter more but. Whatever. She's not going to argue. It certainly would do no good.]
Is there anything else you want to say to him?
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I dunno. Guess it depends on how he takes what I said first. If he'll give me that stern dad voice or that "Hmm"-I understand-and-now-I'm-going-to-flip-over-my-paper-work-and-keep-writing voice.
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[Just trying to think outside of the box. As much as she's stalked Silco, she doesn't actually know him that well to predict how he might react to Jinx standing her ground with him. But she knows he loves her, in his twisted way. Surely he would listen when she came to him, upset.]
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[ she says this, but there's a glimmer of affection behind it. ]